Everyone can use a daily wake-up call. Now in bite-size mantras, the abridged empathetic wit and wisdom of the number one New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That Into You will recharge and inspire your dating outlook one wake-up call at a time. For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. G Everyone can use a daily wake-up call. Now in bite-size mantras, the abridged empathetic wit and wisdom of the number one New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That Into You will recharge and inspire your dating outlook one wake-up call at a time. For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that despite good intentions you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. He's Just Not That Into You based on a popular episode of Sex and the City educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. This book knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. Eh, I wanted to hate this book. I dislike anything that the media (het hem, OPRAH) has picked up and run with and rammed down everybody's throats. I also hated the idea that, from what I heard, the author wants girls to be submissive, never make the first move, wait until the guy expresses interest, arrgh! Hated the idea, hate hate hate. After I read it.I STILL hate it, but only because, in certain sections, the author's right. We all make excuses for why a guy we like doesn't sweep us off our Eh, I wanted to hate this book. I dislike anything that the media (het hem, OPRAH) has picked up and run with and rammed down everybody's throats. I also hated the idea that, from what I heard, the author wants girls to be submissive, never make the first move, wait until the guy expresses interest, arrgh! Hated the idea, hate hate hate. After I read it.I STILL hate it, but only because, in certain sections, the author's right. ![]() We all make excuses for why a guy we like doesn't sweep us off our feet. Sure we should stand up for ourselves and be strong and go-getters.but how often are we in complete denial? We say 'he's intimidated, he's busy, he's been hurt, he's not ready.' And really, think about it. We're busy, we're intimidated, we've been hurt, but that doesn't keep us from LIKING people. How many times have you been hit on by a guy that you have NO interest in, that you think is way below your league. He still hit on you, because he LIKES you. So if the guy's not showing interest it's most likely because.he's not interested. That's why I hate this book. It ate my brain, and I want to disagree with every single word. Because there are exceptions to all that! And then the author points out that we all WANT to be the exception, and how often does that happen, really? Because they're RIGHT. Because everyone wants to find true love. But I've been married for a bjillion years, so why the hell am I reading this? I saw my library had it, and thought it would be fun to find out if (according to Greg Behrendt) Hubs & I had done the whole dating thing right. First week of dating: According to the book, my main squeeze exhibited all the correct into you behavior, so I guess it's a good thing I went ahead and married the guy. And I think, for the most part, Greg is right about some o Because everyone wants to find true love. But I've been married for a bjillion years, so why the hell am I reading this? I saw my library had it, and thought it would be fun to find out if (according to Greg Behrendt) Hubs & I had done the whole dating thing right. First week of dating: According to the book, my main squeeze exhibited all the correct into you behavior, so I guess it's a good thing I went ahead and married the guy. And I think, for the most part, Greg is right about some of the excuses men give when it comes to dating. I mean, when a guy falls for a woman, he really will move heaven and earth to be with her. All of the it's just a bad time, I'm busy with work, I've been hurt before, I'm not ready to commit, my parent divorce scarred me, etc. Shit is exactly that. What's actually being said is, I'm not sure if you're the one, and I'm keeping my options open. I mean, if you ask my husband, he's probably used every one of those excuses on some poor unsuspecting female in the past. I was surprised to learn that he had a giant laundry list of things that were no-goes for him. A list, I might add, that flew out the window once he met me. And not because I'm so awesome, but because I was his Person. For whatever reason, we clicked, and all of his I don't feel comfortable when a woman spends the entire night, turned into if you move in with me, we can turn my office into a kid's room. Just married: I think this book gives pretty decent advice when it talks about how into you a man acts, is proportionate to how into he really is. If he's not calling/texting, not wanting to spend his free time with you, or has 'issues' with intimacy, then *sigh* He's Just Not That Into You. And, honestly, who wants to spend the rest of your life with someone you have to beg scraps of attention from? Marriage is hardly easy, why make it harder? A few years down the road: As far as some of the other advice Behrendt gives? It's not necessarily wrong, but it's definitely not Gospel Truth. At best, it's situational. I know a lot of people are pissed that he claims a woman should never ask a man out, because men like The Chase. I'm not offended by his advice, but I'm not sure how true it is anymore. What if the guy you like thinks you're waaaay out of his league? I guess you could basically throw yourself at him, but it might be easier to just invite him out for a cup of coffee, you know? Besides, I don't think men are as stupid as all that. If they like you, I sort of doubt you asking them out will change those feelings. ![]() As far as I can tell, the only good thing about waiting for the man to make the first move would be that you know he's definitely interested in you, and not just going along with it because it was easy. I can't say that's enough of a reason to sit of your hands. I mean, if after a few dates you notice him displaying lazy/disinterested behavior, you can always dump the guy. The only thing in the book I agree with 100%, is that it is ALWAYS better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel like shit. I know some of you are probably thinking, Easy for you to say, you've got someone!, and you're not wrong. But I have had my fair share of horrible relationships, so I do know how damaging to your self esteem they can be. It's not worth it, ladies (and gentlemen!). Get out, get over them, and move on to someone who truly wants to be your Person. I like reading texts that are feminist in nature. I expected (hoped for?) a book that served to empower women in their relationships, a book that addressed historical deficiencies in the way women are culturally taught to function in relationships or the way that a woman may prevent a man from stifling her natural motion in romance. As a true feminist or pop-feminist text I wanted to feel that a woman, after having sifted through the pages, would be better equipped to dismantle cultural blockade I like reading texts that are feminist in nature. ![]() I expected (hoped for?) a book that served to empower women in their relationships, a book that addressed historical deficiencies in the way women are culturally taught to function in relationships or the way that a woman may prevent a man from stifling her natural motion in romance. As a true feminist or pop-feminist text I wanted to feel that a woman, after having sifted through the pages, would be better equipped to dismantle cultural blockades that prevent her from feeling complete latitude in a coupling. Instead, I found a book that rallies women without suggesting a pathway that would lead to bona fide differences in their relationships with men. I remember when my best friend handed me a well-worn copy of He's Just Not That Into You. I had been dealing with a rather strange relationship involving a boy who. Download Ebook: hes just not that into you pdf in PDF Format. Also available for mobile reader. Now available as an ebook for the first time, He’s Just Not That Into You has the answers. Now the international bestseller is re-released t. Borrow eBooks. He’s Just Not That Into You—based on a popular episode of Sex and the City—is tough love advice for otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn. He's Just NOT That Into You EPUB ebook. Have not added any EPUB format description on He's Just NOT That Into You! (PDF, 117KB). ![]() In fact, I found the text to be quite anti-feminist in its deeper doctrines. Rather than empowering women to promote real change in their relational positioning, it diminishes males into simplistic characters that emanate one of two relationship signals: I’m interested, or I’m not (but most likely I’m not). Doing so, more times than not, seems to cause women to opt out of relationships early on rather than deal with any uncertainty on the part of others. It seems to me that the major fallacy of the book is its assumption that sex drives the man. Given this presupposition, perhaps the book is accurate—“he’s not that into you” could easily be replaced by “he’s transitioning to his next sexual conquest” and the book would make more sense. It makes more sense because sex is a yes or no thing. But if the reality is that men are searching for more than just sex and seek meaningful relationships, it seems difficult to accept the notion that a single indicator, such as phone call rates, can essentialize all that a man is thinking and feeling about a relationship. A relationship is not a yes or no thing. It is dynamic and develops over time. What may be scattered and uncertain at first can build into. A fortress of love, as Sting puts it. I see the appeal—relationships are tough, and its therapeutic to gather around the warmth of an idea that consuls the heart. But it seems the book takes advantage of the realization that emotionally it’s easier to be out of a relationship that it is to be working in one, it’s easier to give up on a relationship than engage the complexities and uncertainties that come with falling in love—and in that, the book secretly delivers its hemlock. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about traditional notions of chivalry. It gives relationships momentum. But I think it is meant to be dynamic, and just because a guy is understand his feelings before moving along the commitment gradient, doesn’t mean that chivalry is lacking. That’s a totally incomplete thought, but it’s a bit tangential and this post is getting long. The book is certainly fun and upbeat. I enjoyed its format and thought the authors did a good job at engaging their audience with familiar, quirky experiences to which any of us can easily relate. I was unintentionally entertained at many points too. If loving this book is shallow, then I don't want to be deep. It's a really fucking simple concept, and it's entirely encompassed in the title. In fact, I love how the title totally sounds like it's uber harsh. In reality, telling you that 'he's not really that into you' is about the nicest thing someone can do to you! This isn't high literature by any stretch of the imagination (take the cue from the bright fucking pink cover), but the concept is so important to young women that if I ever have a If loving this book is shallow, then I don't want to be deep. It's a really fucking simple concept, and it's entirely encompassed in the title. In fact, I love how the title totally sounds like it's uber harsh. In reality, telling you that 'he's not really that into you' is about the nicest thing someone can do to you! This isn't high literature by any stretch of the imagination (take the cue from the bright fucking pink cover), but the concept is so important to young women that if I ever have a daughter, I'm going to instruct her to read this before she goes away to college. In some senses, you actually have to have gone through a few breakups to 'get' it, but there's also infinite value in understanding this before you throw more of your youth after indifferent men. (In economics, it's known as 'throwing good money after bad money'.) Reading this after your first or second bad breakup is probably a perfect time. To be sure, the last few chapters could just entirely be omitted, because they had gotten into the territory of repeating the same idea over and over. And there were some slightly regressive ideas about never pursuing a man in there too. But I think that the author brought those up just to emphasize the point: you shouldn't be breaking your back to make something happen if the guy refuses to be more than lukewarm about you. I'll take the few regressive ideas with that intention. If you've ever sat by the phone, or some facsimile thereof, read this book. It's light: it'll only take you a couple hours.;). Every single girl should read this book, and live by it! Its a book that states the obvious to us girls, but we are too wrapped up to actually see the situation for what it is.it is, being that 'hes just not that into you', Ive bought this book for a few of my single girlfriends, or gf's in crappy relationships. It just makes sense. If he doesnt call you, he's just not that into you, period. Seems to make complete sense. But how many of us sit around waiting for him to call?? Lol If he's not Every single girl should read this book, and live by it! Its a book that states the obvious to us girls, but we are too wrapped up to actually see the situation for what it is.it is, being that 'hes just not that into you', Ive bought this book for a few of my single girlfriends, or gf's in crappy relationships. It just makes sense. If he doesnt call you, he's just not that into you, period. Seems to make complete sense. But how many of us sit around waiting for him to call?? Lol If he's not having sex w/ you, then hes just not that into you.Helllooooo! My favorite one, the one that opened my eyes to reality w/ alot of guys that I dated. If youre making excuses for him, then hes not that into you. Thats true, and one that you may not even know that your doing. I read this book several times, and began to live by it, which really means that I began to raise my standards, and not accept how men treated me sometimes, and all of a sudden it was not acceptable to not call when he said he would, and i soon realized when i was making excuses for them, like- well maybe he worked late, maybe he had an emergency, maybe this, maybe that. I stopped doing all that, and had some self respect. One strike, one f*ck up, one 'ill call ya later' then never did, and that was it, on to the NEXT, no looking back, you had your chance baby!.And since then, I found an amazing man, that ive never ever had a doubt that he is totally into me! And thats what this book is saying, THATS how it should be, no doubts, no excuses, no tears, no sitting by the phone, no trying to 'figure him out'. Such a revelatory book for anyone who has been neglected, ghosted, or given mixed signals by a man. The thesis of He's Just Not That Into You: if a guy is into you, he will take it upon himself to let you know. Despite some of the book's repetition, I love how the authors emphasize their central message of recognizing your self-worth and refusing to settle for someone who makes you doubt yourself. Essentially: do not settle for a man (or any human) who makes you wonder if he (or they) likes you. Such a revelatory book for anyone who has been neglected, ghosted, or given mixed signals by a man. The thesis of He's Just Not That Into You: if a guy is into you, he will take it upon himself to let you know. Despite some of the book's repetition, I love how the authors emphasize their central message of recognizing your self-worth and refusing to settle for someone who makes you doubt yourself. Essentially: do not settle for a man (or any human) who makes you wonder if he (or they) likes you. Do not settle for a man whose intimacy issues or substance use problems or lack of communication skills forces you to do all the emotional work. He's Just Not That Into You advocates for never settling and for only engaging in relationships with people who care about you and can show it. I wish the authors of this book had expanded the depth of their writing. I saw so much room for addressing how oppressive gender roles affect intimate relationships - the authors could have talked about how toxic masculinity robs men of the tools they could use to cultivate fulfilling, deep relationships. The book also felt super heteronormative and even just a tad anti-feminist in parts (e.g., supporting the that women should only date men who ask them out first). Because this book came out ten years ago, quite a few of its arguments rely on traditional structures (e.g., monogamy) and ideas (e.g., that all men just want sex). Despite these flaws, I would still recommend this book to anyone who needs a good slap of self-respect in the face. In the past, I have made the mistake of over-analyzing men's internal states and trying to figure out if a guy's wish-washy behavior could indicate that he likes me. Now, I know not to settle for anyone beneath my standards and to thrive as an empowered, independent human who has several healthy, reciprocal relationships. Last night I went to do laundry at my apartment and all three washers were filled with fluid. I'm not calling it 'liquid.' 'Liquids' do not smell the way those washers smelled. This is a long explanation of why I was at the laundromat at 11:30 PM on a Thursday skimming He's Just Not That Into You. I guess it explains the locale more than the reading choice. I ALSO have to give a presentation about books that might help a person's business. And because you can only read so much of that shit before Last night I went to do laundry at my apartment and all three washers were filled with fluid. I'm not calling it 'liquid.' 'Liquids' do not smell the way those washers smelled. This is a long explanation of why I was at the laundromat at 11:30 PM on a Thursday skimming He's Just Not That Into You. I guess it explains the locale more than the reading choice. I ALSO have to give a presentation about books that might help a person's business. And because you can only read so much of that shit before you pray to Krom for the strength to squeeze your own head and crush your own life to pieces, I wanted to throw in some other books that might help business-y people too. I figured, hell, maybe there's some lessons to learn about customer relations here. Maybe your customers are just not that into you. That's the excuse portion of the reasoning. The other thing, I've found myself to be a man who, though kind, sometimes struggles making a lady feel really and truly wanted. So I thought, Maybe I'll see some glimmers of things in here that I do and try to avoid some of those pitfalls. I mean, let's face it, we all know our foibles. Sometimes it's just good to see how other people deal with them, not to mention consider some alternative strategies. I'd be very embarrassed if anyone ever asked me how much I learned from skimming the 5 Love Languages. To borrow a phrase from every 4th grade in America: You're just a big girl, Pete. I need to stop asking 4th graders what they think of me and allowing them to respond via email. Because business is boring, I just want to talk about this book in terms of relationships. To summarize the business advice gleaned from this and about 50 titles: If you work your ass off and do something you're passionate about as opposed to interested in using as a money pipeline, and if you can maintain a human level of empathy throughout, you have as good a shot as anyone. If you open up a coffee shop but hate people and mornings, you're fucked. If you open up a comic store and love comics and the publishing industry, you're probably still fucked, but you'll have a good few years and you won't regret it. Think about it, very few people look back and say, 'The one time I took a chance on something I really wanted, I totes regret that shit.' So there you go, food for thought. I gave this book a 3-er because it's written nicely. It's light, and it does something tough in that it's acting as a wake-up call without being overly angry at the readers. Like any good artist, the writers here seem to take what they do seriously, but don't necessarily take themselves seriously. It's a good combo. This book is a roadmap for ladies to find a man to marry and be with forever. If that's what you want, then this might not be a bad choice. HOWEVER I think the ideas here are based on a false premise. Let me explain. The idea throughout the book is that a man will pursue a woman he is interested in. Therefore, if a man is not pursuing you, dear reader, then he's not interested. And yes, I agree with the idea that men, people in fact, don't want to dump anyone. Nobody wants to hurt someone else, calling to say what's wrong with them in order to break up. A lot of people, if they go on a date and find you repulsive for whatever reason, whether it's your personality or your weird butt or your political stance or that weird butt, or possibly a weird butt, a lot of people would rather just never call again then call and say, 'You have a weird butt.' I've received a number of 'Dear John' or rather 'Dear Weird Butt' letters. It's hurtful, being reduced to one (weird) part. So in a way, the authors are right. Where they go wrong is in saying that a woman should never, absolutely never, ask out a man, initiate a phone call to a man in early stages, or do any of that shit. Because if he calls you, you know he's in. If he doesn't, he's not. There are a lot of problems with this. First and most obvious, ladies are advised to kiss goodbye their right to pursue people they like. The co-author says she was mad about this at first and later felt like it was empowering, that she was holding the cards. I call total bullshit on that. Sadly, as a species, I don't think we're very good at giving people more rights, respect, or cred if they don't ask for it. Did women get the right to vote because men just felt like they were sweethearts and had earned it? Did white guys stop firehosing black people because they just sort of realized how fucked up that was? Are we working on gay rights in a painfully slow fashion without them making a peep about it? No, I don't think we've gotten a whole lot of anything without asking. I say fuck that. Being asked out is empowering, but surrendering power is really not the way to gain more of it. Let's talk about the kind of person who will respond to this as well. Yes, you can be pretty certain that a guy who pursued you through hell and high water does like you. But, BUT, if YOU refuse to make any headway, there's a pretty good chance you're going to attract a guy who wouldn't WANT a woman who takes any sort of control. I'm not saying he'll never let you be topsies in the sex times (I am so bad at sex that I do not know the terminology and constantly embarrass myself), but I'm saying that if you go by tradition A, don't be surprised if you attract a man who also subscribes to tradition A AND traditions B-K. He won't be a wifebeater just because he wouldn't like being asked out by a woman. But hey, maybe you would like to be the breadwinner. Maybe you're into him staying home with a baby. Maybe you think he drives like a loser and prefer to take the wheel now and then. Fuck me, my mom would be so proud of me right now. Another thing. Isn't it everyone's goal to be with someone who they think, 'Christ. Why is this person with me?' I mean, not every waking moment or anything. But in a weird, terrible way, saying to yourself that you feel like you lucked out big time. Sure, you've got good qualities. You've read a lot of Amazing Spider-Man. You have a vague sense of furniture placement rules. But come on, this partner could do a little better on some level. With that in mind, you might get someone shooting way above his bracket, but in all likelihood you're going to get guys asking you out who are thinking, 'She looks attainable.' That's a terrible way to think about a person, but most guys don't really shoot for the moon on this stuff. I recently met a good friend who told me how he started dating his wife. Basically, he was moving out of town, so he figured he'd just ask out the prettiest, nicest girls that he thought were way out of his league. Because fuck it. He'd be gone forever, so why not go for broke? It worked, and they're married. They have kids. More than one for chrissakes. My point: Under normal circumstances, a guy isn't super likely to go for broke when it comes to asking out a girl he considers out of his league. Especially not a nice, realistic guy like this friend. The system in this book, it allows men to try and bat out of order, but not women. You can't go after someone you consider out of your league. You just have to hope they come to you. That seems like a sad way to live. I rarely say this, but I think it applies to relationships. It's not about getting what you deserve. It's about getting a little bit more. Last thing, and why I think the premise is flawed. This book makes an assumption. The assumption, that the opposite of a man who is interested and pursues a woman is a man who is uninterested and does not. That if Rule A is true, and Rule A states 'A man who does not pursue you is not interested in you' then it's opposite is true, 'A man who does pursue you is interested.' But is the opposite of a pursuer who is not pursuing a pursuer who IS pursuing? Or is the opposite a non-pursuer? I know, this sounds like the logic they use with Bizarro Superman. He flies backwards, feet first, but shouldn't he also be upside-down? Or underground or something? I'm just trying to say that I think the opposite of a man who is not pursuing you is not a passionate, interested man that is. Setting up any group of humans as either one or the other, on/off switch, is a mistake. Take the signals, pay goddamn attention, but don't take any advice as gospel, especially when it's based on a 'Men be all like this.' That's not science. That's just the experience of one man. And yes, many many people have written in and agreed with this book, however if you're thinking about this scientifically, most people who read this probably already suspect that He's Just Not That Into them. That's why they picked up the book. So it stands to reason. At the end of The Elements of Style, the Strunk & White book that tells you how to write the right way, these bastions of proper English lay it out there, saying that although these are the rules, many, many great writer has found greatness specifically by breaking these rules. They tell you straight-up that there are rules, but if you break them at the right time and the right way, you'll connect with someone on a different level. That's my advice, after reading this book. Nearly everyone I know has said that he or she doesn't want to be in a long-distance relationship. And nearly everyone I know HAS been after making that declaration. I don't want to be in a long-distance relationship with a woman. But that's A woman. When it comes to the question of being in a long-distance relationship with Anastasia (I tried to pick a name associated with NOBODY I know, but if I remember I DO know one this is going to be extra fucked-up because it'll seem really, really pointed) it's a different discussion. Rules are there for the masses, and they're broken by individuals. Especially when it comes to love. Have high standards, go after what you want, but don't be an idiot. Don't impose rules on yourself that limit your own happiness. Ah kamuh, gak seru, greg. Masa cuma cowok yang boleh melakukan apa saja setelah menemukan cewek yang diangan-angin-ingin-kannya supaya si cewek bertekuklutut. Kalau cowok melakukan itu, persimu artinya he's into you. Isshh, masa cewek cuma dijadiin objek cowok aja. Lucu amat jadinya kalo kayak gini: setelah kencan, tiba-tiba cowok itu menelponmu, dan mengajakmu bertemu lagi. Setelah menutup telepon, kamu berteriak kegirangan, jingkrak-jingkrak sambil teriak 'yeaaa.aku terpilih.aku terpilih. Ah kamuh, gak seru, greg. Masa cuma cowok yang boleh melakukan apa saja setelah menemukan cewek yang diangan-angin-ingin-kannya supaya si cewek bertekuklutut. Kalau cowok melakukan itu, persimu artinya he's into you. Isshh, masa cewek cuma dijadiin objek cowok aja. Lucu amat jadinya kalo kayak gini: setelah kencan, tiba-tiba cowok itu menelponmu, dan mengajakmu bertemu lagi. Setelah menutup telepon, kamu berteriak kegirangan, jingkrak-jingkrak sambil teriak 'yeaaa.aku terpilih.aku terpilih.wuhuuu'. Fiuh, gak ada tantangan amat yak. Gak asik ah, Greg. Cewek juga boleh dong mengejar pria yang diinginkannya;D soalnya kalo persi saya begini greg: cinta itu seperti sepakbola. Kalau gak bangun serangan gak bakalan gol-gol-ale-ale:D cinta itu seperti bulutangkis. Harus bermain ngotot kalau mau menundukan lawan. Lihat tuh cina;D cinta itu seperti motogp. Pepet teruuuus.biar lawan jadi grogi, kalo kata mas pra, taklukan ditikungan terakhir! XD cinta itu seperti catur. Perlu konsentrasi tinggi sama lawan yang sedang kita hadapi.salah langkah dikit harus atur ulang strategi:D cinta itu seperti berenang. Harus selaras antara ngambil nafas dan gaya yang sedang dimainkan.kalo enggak tar keselek aer XD cinta itu seperti basket. Terkadang perlu juga crossover untuk mengecoh lawan, ada kesempatan dikit lakukan jump shoot. Whoooa apalagi kalau lawan lengah, binasakan dengan slam dunk XD XD cinta itu seperti tenis. Selain permainan cantik, gaya eksentrik juga perlu. Untuk memukau lawan;D ni tak kalah penting greg, cinta juga harus seperti voli. Blocking yang baik juga penting, yar pertahanan gak jebol karna kalo jebol bisa frustasi-depresi. Maksudnya walaupun diserang (baca: di tolak XD) berkali-kali masih bisa tetap bertahan. Lalu, sekali-laki lakukan spike buat gebrakan ajah XD XD *** baiklah sodara-sodara, pemirsa se-tanah air.sungguh apik sekali permainan lawan, pertahanan begitu rapat, begitu ketat, sehingga sulit sekali mencuri angka dari lawan. Bagaimana komentar anda bung coel? 'ya.menurut saya dengan pertahanan sekuat itu memang sulit untuk menjebol lawan. Walaupun sudah di serang bertubi-tubi, menggempur pertahanan lawan, tapi memang terasa sulit karena lawan memiliki individual skill yang jauh sekali, beda kelas lah. Jadi perlu kerja ekstra keras dan serangan yang terarah. Kalau perlu diubah strateginya dengan mengendurkan sedikit serangan dan lakukan operan-operan pendek, dengan begitu kita bisa tetap bergerak, merangsek sedikit demi sedikit, kemudian temukan posisi yang tepat untuk melakukan shooting!' Owkeh, terima kasih bung coel. Baiklah pemirsa di tanah di air, masih ada babak kedua. Jadi, jangan kemana-mana. Kembali kepada anda, sodara buzenk. *** teringat twitan neng beatrice beberapa minggu lalu yang bunyinya 'Rezeki itu ditangan Tuhan, tapi kalau kita cuma nunggu ya rezeki-nya DITAHAN Tuhan.' Ini juga berlaku dalam hukum percintaan Greg, 'Jodoh itu ditangan Tuhan, tapi kalau gak diperjuangkan Jodoh-nya ya DITAHAN Tuhan.' Yang berabe, udah mah ditahan, disetrap, trus kena pajak lagi XD XD ya jadi begitulah. Kalau menurutmu dia itu numero uno, pria yang sangat kamu impi-impikan, gak ada salahnya untuk dikejar. Jangan gurumusuh juga. Gayanya terserah. Bisa serangan cepat ato pelan-pelan-mengendap-endap-gerilya juga tak apa. Asal target tercapai. So smooth so sloooooow lah XD XD #eh, tapi khususon pria yang available loh;D udaaaah, jangan pake mikir. Ocehan si greg ini abaikan saja. 'Never give up on the things that make you smile.' Kata sebuah pepatah. Makanyaaaaa, let go get 'em gals! Ahahahahahahhahaha ahahahahahhahahaha ahahahahahahahahah *masuk lagi ke dalam botol* owl *kepanasan, kelaparan, kehausan, bikin ripiu gak keruan*. 'Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak pernah berusaha untuk mendekati, menarik perhatian, menghubungi, menelpon, mengajak keluar dll yang menunjukan ketertarikannya kepada anda. Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak mau menikahi anda atau dia berselingkuh'. Wanita sering mengalami kebimbangan untuk mengetahui perasaan pria terhadapnya. Kedekatan, kebersemaan, flirting, kata-kata basi, gombal, perhatian, etc. Tapi setelah beberapa waktu tidak juga a 'Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak pernah berusaha untuk mendekati, menarik perhatian, menghubungi, menelpon, mengajak keluar dll yang menunjukan ketertarikannya kepada anda. Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak mau menikahi anda atau dia berselingkuh'. Wanita sering mengalami kebimbangan untuk mengetahui perasaan pria terhadapnya. Kedekatan, kebersemaan, flirting, kata-kata basi, gombal, perhatian, etc. Tapi setelah beberapa waktu tidak juga ada kepastian. Hubungan Tanpa Status. Teman Tapi Mesra. Pertanyaan itu muncul bertubi 'cintakah dia padaku?' Dalam buku ini, Greg menuliskan jawabannya dari sudut pandang pria. Jawaban yang terus terang, apa adanya hingga kadang menyakitkan. Kebenaran memang terkadang menyakitkan. Tapi itu jauh lebih baik daripada terjebak dalam jutaan dalih, Gede Rasa (GR), alasan, prasangka yang ujung-ujungnya menjadi ketidakpastian. Karena sudah jadi kebiasaan buruk kaum wanita untuk mudah tersanjung dan gede rasa kalau ada seorang pria yang memperhatikannya. Lantas mulai menanam prasangka, dalih dan sejuta dalih lainnya. Menurutnya, pria itu simple. Kalau seorang pria jatuh cinta, dia akan melakukan apapun untuk menunjukkan perasaannya & untuk mendapatkan wanita tersebut. Dalih-dalih terlalu sibuk, tidak ingin merusak persahabatan, tidak ingin menyakiti, belum siap, kamu adalah wanita terbaik yang pernah ia kenal, etc itu hanyalah kalimat lain dari 'he is just not that into you'. Dia tidak benar-benar mencintai anda. Jadi ketika ada seorang pria yang mendekati anda, belum tentu ia jatuh cinta pada anda. Bisa jadi ia hanya ingin bersahabat dengan anda. Ketika ada pria yang mengobral rayuan dan kata-kata basi: “sayang, cinta, honey, dear, etc”, itu tidak berarti pria itu benar-benar mencintai anda. Bisa jadi karena ia hanya tertarik pada kelebihan yang anda miliki. Pria itu terlalu pengecut untuk mengatakan hal yang sebenarnya pada anda. Pria lebih baik jatuh ke dalam sumur daripada harus mengatakan kalau ia tidak tertarik pada anda. 'He is just not that into you' So girls, be realistic. Jangan pernah buang-buang waktu, pikiran, energi & hati anda untuk pria yang tidak benar-benar mencintai anda. Anda terlalu berharga. Anda luar biasa. Kalau ia tidak benar-benar mencintai anda, anggap aja ia yang rugi. Percaya dech, ada seseorang di luar sana yang selalu menatap anda dan menanti cinta anda. PS: buku yang tepat di saat yang tepat. Update 28 Sept 2010. Berasa 'ketendang' lagi.sialan!! Good God, this book reeks of Stone Age, sexism and untifemininism. The author, Greg Behrendt, is a comedian, worked as a consultant on Sex and the city, has been on tons of well known talk shows, and all this somehow made him into a Love Guru. He felt like he was sitting on so much knowledge, that could help clueless poor women, that he decided to write a book and share his wisdom with the world. The reason I picked up this book, was because I wanted to read funny stories about dating. And this Good God, this book reeks of Stone Age, sexism and untifemininism. The author, Greg Behrendt, is a comedian, worked as a consultant on Sex and the city, has been on tons of well known talk shows, and all this somehow made him into a Love Guru. He felt like he was sitting on so much knowledge, that could help clueless poor women, that he decided to write a book and share his wisdom with the world. The reason I picked up this book, was because I wanted to read funny stories about dating. And this book had plenty of those. But my god did it stank bullshit. The book is written from two peoples point of view, Greg, who wastes no time giving advice 'dump him', and Liz, who's job is to point out the grey areas in relationships. Unlike Greg, she believes that not everything is black and white, that some relationship are more complicated. At first I thought it was interesting, that she was questioning his relationship advice, trying to point out that not all men are pigs, with hidden agendas, mommy issues, secretly set on using and abusing all women in their paths, because someone, at some point in their lives did them wrong. You read halfway into her argument and think 'This Liz chick is onto something.' But then you get to the end of every chapter and get 'I hate to admit it, but Greg is right.' And you get this uncontrollable urge to hit something. Let me give you some examples. Greg believes that a woman should never approach a man first. Liz comes in arguing that some women are go-getters, they see something/someone they want, and go for it. That there is nothing wrong with that. Greg aka self proclaimed Love Guru, takes her's 'there is nothing wrong with that' and raises her with 'Do you really want a man who is so lazy that he doesn't even bother to talk to you? Imagine having a relationship with such jewel.' Because if a man was really into you, he would always, ALWAYS, get his ass up, come over and try to talk to you. And of course, OF COURSE, Liz thought that Greg had a good point. Yeah, some men might be intimidated by powerful women, but if he is really into you, he will get off his lazy ass and approach you. Because there is no other explanation why a man would not approach a woman first, other than he's lazy, or likes things being handed to him. Ladies, assume your submissive positions and wait for the Prince Charming to make his move. Also, the use of word 'we' annoyed me to no end. When Greg talked about men, he always used 'we men' like he was talking on behalf of all male species. 'We men like approaching women. We love the chase. We are made this way. That's who we are. That's how we do things. So what that my mother had a stroke. If I was into you, I would call and tell you about it right away. If I haven't, I'm just not into you. It's that simple.' Then there is Greg saying 'Men are not complicated. Although we would like you to think we are.' Men are just as complicated as women, because they are HUMAN BEINGS! WITH FEELINGS! Don't even get me started on the part where Greg explains (to the ladies) that 0400 is 4 A.M. Insert *RAGE*! Or the part where he talks about marriage. That if a man is really into you, he will want to marry you one day. If he's not asking, something is wrong. It is one thing when a woman wants that, but to say that if he's really into you, he will want to marry you. Yeah you've been together for a long time, he's committed to you in every way, the relationship is great, but if he says he doesn't want to get married, READ FLAG! What the fuck was this woman doing not bringing this up in the early stages of their relationship??? Oh, wait, we're suppose to wait til the man makes the first move. Then you have: men find very satisfying to get what they want. That's why women should stay put and wait for things to happen, because we do not. Insert *rage*. Then there is 'friends to lovers' thing. According to Greg, if a man is interested in being more than a friend to you (here he talked about going from long time friendship to romantic relationship), he will always, ALWAYS, want to take relationship further. Because, you know, men find it very satisfying to get what they want and all that. Because they don't have the ability to foresee the consequences that could lead to ruining the friendship. AND, because they don't care about that anyway, at least not enough to think for a second if anything good will come out of it. Then there is the part where a man will find a way to get ahold of you even if you didn't give him your phone number. If he's really into you that is. James would be truly proud. And this is not even halfway through the book! I could rant about it all day. The bottom line of this book is: yeah, you are a big deal, successful and well accomplished, beatiful and interesting, but stay tight, if a guy is truly interested in you, he'll find you. The only time the importants of communication was mentioned, it was fallowed by 'but.' The most depressing part about the book was the ending, where Liz was summarizing her thoughts on dating and Greg's advice about it. Regardless of what she thought, the Greg ended up being right. His advice and wisdom is gold, according to her. The book ended with her saying she feels lonely sometimes, it sucks being single, but it's better to be single than being in a bad relationship. Which is true. But Liz is staying put, at the age of 41 (this book was written a while back, she should be 51 now), without approaching men herself, successfully dating in NY (I think). This book had its funny moments, but I really hope that no one, who bought this book, took Greg's advice to heart. Otherwise we will never get rid of Stone Age mentality. This book was really fascinating! Not only does it give good advice for women and let's them know that the excuses from men are not acceptable, but also how dating was very different 12 years ago. 12 years ago?! Like, that wasn't that long ago, but this book has a lot of differences in dating styles than I see around me today. It's just fascinating to learn about:) Also, this book is a movie but don't let that fool you. This book is nothing like the movie. This is a self-help book! Not a story: This book was really fascinating! Not only does it give good advice for women and let's them know that the excuses from men are not acceptable, but also how dating was very different 12 years ago. 12 years ago?! Like, that wasn't that long ago, but this book has a lot of differences in dating styles than I see around me today. It's just fascinating to learn about:) Also, this book is a movie but don't let that fool you. This book is nothing like the movie. This is a self-help book! Not a story:). I think that no matter who you are, you're never too good for a low-brow self-help book. If you date men, you should read He's Just Not That Into You, because this book serves as a reminder to make sure you're being treated with the respect you deserve. After you read this book, you will save a lot of time you would have spent making excuses for some deadbeat. The book's also written in a very humorous, breezy, and clear style. You can read it quickly but the advice will stick with you for many d I think that no matter who you are, you're never too good for a low-brow self-help book. If you date men, you should read He's Just Not That Into You, because this book serves as a reminder to make sure you're being treated with the respect you deserve. After you read this book, you will save a lot of time you would have spent making excuses for some deadbeat. The book's also written in a very humorous, breezy, and clear style. You can read it quickly but the advice will stick with you for many dates to come. Even so, I like to reread it every so often as a kind of refresher course, to remind myself why it doesn't make sense to 'waste the pretty.' My friends and I refer to this book regularly in our conversations about men and dating. The title is off-putting. But the idea is simple: why waste one moment of your precious time on somebody who doesn't think you're the cat's pajamas? If s/he doesn't dig you like you deserve to be dug, drop him/her, stop wasting your time barking up a lame tree. This book is empowering - it has become my post-breakup manual, and my copy has notes in the margins about each of the lovely gents who, alas, were just not that into me. (It's also been informative using the book like this because it help The title is off-putting. But the idea is simple: why waste one moment of your precious time on somebody who doesn't think you're the cat's pajamas? If s/he doesn't dig you like you deserve to be dug, drop him/her, stop wasting your time barking up a lame tree. This book is empowering - it has become my post-breakup manual, and my copy has notes in the margins about each of the lovely gents who, alas, were just not that into me. (It's also been informative using the book like this because it helps highlight my own foible-rific patterns.) The only part I don't particularly love is Greg's assertion that women mayn't take the initiative & pursue a man in any way. I've chosen to take this advice with a grain of salt: I refuse to pretend to be some eyelash-batting man-lure - I feel like that would be unfair to all parties if I were to behave so uncharacteristically. Instead I take the middle road - Greg's whole thing is that men prefer to pursue rather than being pursued. So I am myself. Just a politely subdued version of me. I'll let you know how it works out. For better or worse, I LOVED this book and do consider it to be life altering for me (okay, to an extent.). I realize it's been trash talked times ten in the media since it first came out but I do think it's extremely underrated. I read it as a first year grad student and remember all these light bulbs going off in my head as I eagerly scanned the pages for information. As I read the letters and stories in the book, so much of my life started making sense to me! I started to see what I was doi For better or worse, I LOVED this book and do consider it to be life altering for me (okay, to an extent.). I realize it's been trash talked times ten in the media since it first came out but I do think it's extremely underrated. I read it as a first year grad student and remember all these light bulbs going off in my head as I eagerly scanned the pages for information. As I read the letters and stories in the book, so much of my life started making sense to me! I started to see what I was doing 'right' and what I was doing 'wrong' and after I finished the book and reflected on it a bit, I really did change my approach to dating. And you know what? I think what I really like about the book, that it really doesn't get credit for, is that it promotes independence. The main message is that knowledge is power and even if things aren't the way you want them to be, at least if you know then you can go on to something else. That was the main message that resonated with me and that's why I think it's a really empowering book for females. Disclaimer: I am not a fan of self-help books! When I picked up a copy of He's Just Not That Into You I thought it was going to be the story the movie was based on. Now, I am aware that the book is, in fact, what the movie was based on; it is NOT a story! Rather it is a series of scenarios which Greg - our love guru, apparently - gives some black and white answers to. I know this isn't a book for me, I am in a happy relationship with a wonderful man and beyond that, many of the 'lessons' or 'scen Disclaimer: I am not a fan of self-help books! When I picked up a copy of He's Just Not That Into You I thought it was going to be the story the movie was based on. Now, I am aware that the book is, in fact, what the movie was based on; it is NOT a story! Rather it is a series of scenarios which Greg - our love guru, apparently - gives some black and white answers to. I know this isn't a book for me, I am in a happy relationship with a wonderful man and beyond that, many of the 'lessons' or 'scenarios' played out in here are obvious to me as poor behaviour. Be that because I have, personally, already learned it OR that it is just a huge 'red flag' in general. For example: 4, he's just not into you if he's not having sex with you I feel like that is obvious!! I do not need to be told this, it's pretty self evident. If you 'think' you are dating someone and he doesn't make any advances chances are that 'he's just not that into you'. I feel like Greg is too finite. His answers are very black and white. Also, a bit sexist! (I'm sorry I do think a female should be able to ask a guy out, I think it is ridiculously unfair to tell a woman that EVERY man prefers to do the chasing. What about what women want?!) Also, he's a bit of a Neanderthal for thinking ALL women want to get married and pop out babies, that simply isn't true. However, he does make some interesting points. AND I imagine this is probably helpful to some people who are looking for love in all the wrong places. One thing I do want to say, and he does sort of touch on this at a couple points, is that sometimes it really doesn't matter if your partner cares about you or not. Sometimes you are too fundamentally different to be able to make it work, sometimes you have to choose yourself!! Where was this book when I was younger and dating?! This would have saved atleast a couple of tears over guys who did not deserve them. I might have acted a little less crazy as well. Just a little. But I must say there is a chapter I think they should have included, so I take it upon myself to add it here now. (sorry it is long) He's just not that into you if he is gay Because sweetie, he is gay. Everyone wants to be loved and needed, especially by someone who is caring, who enjoys your company an Where was this book when I was younger and dating?! This would have saved atleast a couple of tears over guys who did not deserve them. I might have acted a little less crazy as well. Just a little. But I must say there is a chapter I think they should have included, so I take it upon myself to add it here now. (sorry it is long) He's just not that into you if he is gay Because sweetie, he is gay. Everyone wants to be loved and needed, especially by someone who is caring, who enjoys your company and treats you with the respect you deserve. The idea of being with someone some times is worth ignoring some simple facts and obvious red flags. The 'But We Are Soul Mates' Excuse Dear Michelle, This guy I have been seeing is so kind to me. We share all our intimate details about one another, we spend hours together, even have sleepovers. We are perfect for eachother! We are soul mates! Should I feel weird that he is gay or just keep this awesome feeling? - Wanda Dear Soul Mate Chaser, he is gay. He will leave you asap when he finds a guy he wants to stick it in. The 'I Don't Need To Be Intimate' Excuse Dear Michelle, I have this gay friend of mine and we are so close with eachother. We snuggle, we hold hands, we are great with communicating with one another.we are basically dating if he wasn't gay. I don't care that he is. I get all the emotional attachment without having to be physical. I don't have to be physical with him in order for him to be into me, right? - Trish Dear Let's Get Physical, If you want to be tortured this way and lie to yourself that you never want a nice piece of man all up in your business, then sure, stay with the gay guy. But he will not feel this way forever. He probably wants some physical parts from a relationship, but you just don't have the correct ones. Honey, he is gay. He is not into you. He is into shlongs and other various parts. It's SO Simple He is gay ladies! I know you want to be with him and have a some-what relationship. It is better than nothing right? You will still get hurt when he leaves you for your cute gay neighbour down the hall, or your best friend's ex that she was dumped by because he was gay. Here's what's hard about this one You feel secure being with someone and loved by someone and really, there isn't anything wrong with that. We all want to be loved and in love. And that is what you should want. To be in love. In love with someone who is into women, not men. Go find that straight man! Michelle, I get it! By Rhonda, age 40 While snuggling with my gay friend, I started thinking about what I wanted from a relationship. I basically had everything I wanted with Spencer except being physical and the security that this thing could turn into marriage. So I told him we had to stop doing what we were doing and help eachother find men, instead of using eachother as substitutes. So far so good. Just wish we would go to places that aren't a gay bar. I keep getting confused for being a tranny. If you don't believe me 100% of 100% gay guys, want to be with a man, not a woman. If he is bi, well there is something different, but if he is into dudes, he is into dudes, not you. What You Should Have Learned ☼If he is gay, he is gay. ☼If he is into dudes, he is into dudes and will never be into you, emotionally or physically. ☼Don't be a substitute. Get the real thing! There were some good points, I'll admit, although most of them were really big 'common sense' ones - like, if he's a drunk and verbally abusive to you, or if he's cheating on you, he's not that into you and you need to leave him (well, um, duh.) But the book takes all of the complexities of a relationship and distills them down to 'if you don't get exactly what you want exactly when you want it, move on because he's not that into you'. Men are dumbed-down, usually unfairly - 'if he doesn't make t There were some good points, I'll admit, although most of them were really big 'common sense' ones - like, if he's a drunk and verbally abusive to you, or if he's cheating on you, he's not that into you and you need to leave him (well, um, duh.) But the book takes all of the complexities of a relationship and distills them down to 'if you don't get exactly what you want exactly when you want it, move on because he's not that into you'. Men are dumbed-down, usually unfairly - 'if he doesn't make the first move, doesn't call or says he's busy - he's just not into you'. However, life and men and relationships are nowhere near this black-and-white. Many men really ARE busy or really ARE shy and I find it offensive to tell women to leave a man over the tiniest infractions and go find someone better. In the name of 'female empowerment'. Besides, the writer of this book is a self-confessed former playboy - when he tells us that ALL men think the way he does, do we really want to believe it? I just think that if you listen to EVERYTHING this book has to say, men will be getting a hell of an unfair shake. Meanwhile, women will end up sitting back waiting for the perfect man and being grossly disappointed when he doesn't measure up to the perfect standard this book seems to set. From this book, i learned that apparently, all 5473 dates i've gone on in the last half year, as well as the 623 people who i've gone on them with, have been completely worthless and i was stupid to think otherwise. Just plain stupid!! An advisable future plan is as follows: i must wade through a sea of unworthy men at a steady rate of about five dates per week, allowing myself to take no action outside of accepting or declining their suggestions. Sadly, they are all bound to not be that into me from this book, i learned that apparently, all 5473 dates i've gone on in the last half year, as well as the 623 people who i've gone on them with, have been completely worthless and i was stupid to think otherwise. Just plain stupid!! An advisable future plan is as follows: i must wade through a sea of unworthy men at a steady rate of about five dates per week, allowing myself to take no action outside of accepting or declining their suggestions. Sadly, they are all bound to not be that into me, but i must perservere ('ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize,' page 96). This will last for approximately ten years, after which i'll find the ONE person in the world who actually IS that into me, who will ideally suggest that we get hitched and make babies. I will, of course, accept his suggestion. Too bad i have to reconceptualize my life, i was just looking for a funny study break. My co-workered referred to Greg (the author) as my 'patron saint,' and, for better or for worse, he's right. Greg has become the voice in my head when it comes to guys, mainly because he's always right. I wish this book had been around when I was younger, though it has become very useful in my 20's. This is a book I constantly pick up again, just to refresh my memory, and just to feel a little bit better when I'm feeling down ('Don't Waste the Pretty'). It's funny, it's honest, and it's always ri My co-workered referred to Greg (the author) as my 'patron saint,' and, for better or for worse, he's right. Greg has become the voice in my head when it comes to guys, mainly because he's always right. I wish this book had been around when I was younger, though it has become very useful in my 20's. This is a book I constantly pick up again, just to refresh my memory, and just to feel a little bit better when I'm feeling down ('Don't Waste the Pretty'). It's funny, it's honest, and it's always right. While I don't necessarily agree with everything in the book, I get what the author is saying. This slim, one hundred sixty-five page volume of humor, honesty, and tough love has given me an interesting outlook on relationships, men, women, and priorities. Reading HJNTIY cracked me up as much as it opened my eyes. Just reading the introductions had me laughing out loud. And sadly (and most embarrassingly), we [men:] would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you [women:] simply, 'You'r While I don't necessarily agree with everything in the book, I get what the author is saying. This slim, one hundred sixty-five page volume of humor, honesty, and tough love has given me an interesting outlook on relationships, men, women, and priorities. Reading HJNTIY cracked me up as much as it opened my eyes. Just reading the introductions had me laughing out loud. And sadly (and most embarrassingly), we [men:] would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you [women:] simply, 'You're not the one.' -- Greg Behrendt, pg 6 But the situation is hopeless, so I broke the news to her: 'He's just not that into you.' -- Greg Behrendt, pg 5 I like this book because it's so refreshing to hear the tough love. Typical self-help relationship books are full of the whys and hows. This book isn't about the hows and whys -- it's about realizing your priorities, it's about realizing that we need to move forward, it's about coming to terms with the myth of 'mixed messages.' Women can run themselves ragged over-analyzing. Men basically say everything through their actions. Women are frustrated to no end by the lack of a man's ability to be like us -- i.e. Talk, emote, over-analyze. HJNTIY makes me realize I'm never going to understand men. It makes me realize I can either over-analyze and ignore the present or I can have a cry, shrug, and find the guy that I really deserve. I listened to the audiobook, read by the authors. And it's pretty hilarious, if you go for the whole 'this is how I am, therefore, every man is that same way, therefore you should always only behave like this' thing. I mean, that's some serious research right there. At the same time, I mostly think Greg is right. Women believe they are getting mixed signals from men, when really, the only thing they need to understand is that the absence of the right positive signals = negative signals. Or, he's I listened to the audiobook, read by the authors. And it's pretty hilarious, if you go for the whole 'this is how I am, therefore, every man is that same way, therefore you should always only behave like this' thing. I mean, that's some serious research right there. At the same time, I mostly think Greg is right. Women believe they are getting mixed signals from men, when really, the only thing they need to understand is that the absence of the right positive signals = negative signals. Or, he's just not that into you. I listened it feeling like, as a woman, I was being treated like a dummy. Please repeat yourself a FEW more times so my pea-sized brain can try to grasp the concept. But I have to admit that I also listened and rolled my eyes at my former self, realizing I have totally been that girl who is NOT GETTING the fact that this guy doesn't want me. I'm left wondering how I would have responded to this book if it had come out when I was single and genuinely in the midst of some of this men angst. I didn't even finish it. I thought it was going to be an empowering book about women taking control of their choices, but instead i found a book that is just plain sexist. I've never HATED a book before, but this might as well be my first. So, ALL men are moved by sex? And they just like you or not? That thinking is called 'dichotomy thinking'. Is just as bad as when us women call all men bad- and it's plain NOT TRUE. Yeah, there may be those kind of guys, but they are not the rule. Men are not as bi I didn't even finish it. I thought it was going to be an empowering book about women taking control of their choices, but instead i found a book that is just plain sexist. I've never HATED a book before, but this might as well be my first. So, ALL men are moved by sex? And they just like you or not? That thinking is called 'dichotomy thinking'. Is just as bad as when us women call all men bad- and it's plain NOT TRUE. Yeah, there may be those kind of guys, but they are not the rule. Men are not as bidirectional as this book makes them sound. People are more complicated, and women should take action. Let me tell you why women would want to choose this behavior instead: It releases us from responsibilities. It gives us the freedom of saying: He didn't called, so that wasn't meant to happen. Or: If he doesn't try hard enough, then he doesn't like me. Well guess what? Relationships are TWO-SIDED! If only one of two sides is trying, it's not going to work. I'm not saying women should let men treat them like dirt, but if he is the only one trying there, you're the one treating him that way. People don't fall in love from the first moment -no matter what people might think- they're just attracted. There has to be knowledge to be love. Attraction is not the only thing that keeps a relationship, and it's not HIS duty to fall in love with you at the first moment. There are people who don't like another UNTIL they know them. Because that's how we are. So, I just thought this book was pure and utterly -and pardon me for my vocabulary- shit. Don't let man treat you like dirt, take control of your own life. And if really, a guy is not into you, don't you wait around hoping he will. You are too valuable to sit around and wait. So, I decided to read this book because the movie is coming out soon, plus a few of my friends have read it and while dishing about ex-boyfriends over lunch have often said to me 'he's just not into you' and then told me to read the book. I wish I had done so earlier and not wasted so much time on 'Mr. Short and fat' the not-so-into-me lawyer that never called me, never made time for me but I was totally obsessed with him for over a year (although we only went on one date, and that was a date th So, I decided to read this book because the movie is coming out soon, plus a few of my friends have read it and while dishing about ex-boyfriends over lunch have often said to me 'he's just not into you' and then told me to read the book. I wish I had done so earlier and not wasted so much time on 'Mr. Short and fat' the not-so-into-me lawyer that never called me, never made time for me but I was totally obsessed with him for over a year (although we only went on one date, and that was a date that I arranged.I'm soooooo dumb), friends may remember him by his former nick-name 'Mr. Hottie Pants' (I get over guys by associating them with a negative concept, oh, how the mighty fall.!) The book is full of hysterical one-liners and great tidbits of advice on guys-but more importantly valuing yourself.and learning the art of calling a spade a spade. It's spoken like you are having a conversation with your best friend who is still in touch with reality and you are the totally crazy one and you desperately need someone to say 'are you listening to yourself? You would really let him do that and then come here and ask me about whether it's okay or not? ARE YOU F***ing INSANE? You are the crazy one here woman, good god, you two are made for each other if you think that behavior is okay.' The book is fab., and I recommend it to all of my single friends and soon to be single ones (just kidding). Just make sure to chuck the book cover before you bring it with you on the train, like I did. I wasn't be able to handle the judgement of the other commuter rail passengers. Cheers, Lesley. It burns, it burns! I'm not talking about the truth. In that sense, this book confirms what I already know. It's just frustrating to read all these letters from women who have let such bullshit go on for so long, and Greg's response is pretty much the same every time. Also, the book assumes you want a serious relationship. Personally, I don't. But I don't want to feel dicked around either. I assume that most women are smart enough to know the difference between dating around and getting played It burns, it burns! I'm not talking about the truth. In that sense, this book confirms what I already know. It's just frustrating to read all these letters from women who have let such bullshit go on for so long, and Greg's response is pretty much the same every time. Also, the book assumes you want a serious relationship. Personally, I don't. But I don't want to feel dicked around either. I assume that most women are smart enough to know the difference between dating around and getting played by several guys at a time. I really hope women aren't reading the information in this book like it's news. Its sole purpose should be to serve as a nice pick-me-up when you're feeling down about a breakup. Of course there are a million guys out there who would love to date you and of course you shouldn't waste your time on the one who doesn't. I guess I shouldn't expect anything terribly ground-breaking in a book about relationships. It's been a long time since I've read such a book, but maybe I needed to (if only to remember how far I've come!). I suppose this book was a best-seller because it's one of the better ones. So, I watched the movie once. No, twice, Well. No, a million times for various i/logical,yet, clever reasons. It finally made me think, “ I already have one asshole, why would I need another one?”;p Maybe because of the casts? Or, maybe because of the feel of constant ‘punch’ while watching it? Either way, it finally got me to buy myself the book which were already published in 2004, and reprinted for the second time 4 years ago. I am obviously late; it has been out there for bloody three So, I watched the movie once. No, twice, Well. No, a million times for various i/logical,yet, clever reasons. It finally made me think, “ I already have one asshole, why would I need another one?”;p Maybe because of the casts? Or, maybe because of the feel of constant ‘punch’ while watching it? Either way, it finally got me to buy myself the book which were already published in 2004, and reprinted for the second time 4 years ago. I am obviously late; it has been out there for bloody three years. Constantly makes me laughing out loud—this book is truly HILARIOUS and bloody honest. Just like its subtitle says, it’s a guide to no-excuse truth. No ego-soothing platitudes. Hefty doses of humor from the Y chromosomes’s mouth. Behrendt and Tucillo clasify the so-called-writings into 11 main and ‘common excuses’ coming out from men—ranging from the basic meaning of telephone use in relationship to the unavailability of the guy with various insane reasons. Opened with introductions from each author, the piece is closed with closing remarks, again, from each of them. Every chapter has ‘various’ questions based on ‘difficult’ situations faced by various random girls aged 20-40s. What make it enjoyable to read, is mostly Behrendt’s (sarcastic and brutal but) logical answers. [From the desk of Greg:] 'Dear Control Freak, Did he give control, or did he just get you to do the heavy lifting? What he just did was a magic trick: It seems like he gave you control, but really he now gets to decide if he wants to go out with you—or even return your call. Why don’t you take Copperfields’s number, roll it in a newspaper, pour milk in it, and make it disappear. -- “Give me a call”. “E-mail me.” “ Tell Joey we should all hang out sometime.” Don’t let him trick you into asking him out. When men want you, they do the work. I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out.” P14 “Greg: One simple rule,ladies: Always be classy. Never be crazy. Okay, actually, it’s two simple rules, but trust me, you will never be sadyou followed them. It’s so simple! A guy says he doesn’t want to be with you. Sometimes that guy realizes he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. And then sometimes, he doesn’t. Either way, either way, your job is to move on with your life, and fast.” P103 Now, compare with Tucillo’s answers to the questions, from a more estrogenic point of view—sometimes, they are too soothing. “ And so is it wrong to wait around looking for a glimmer, a ray, a sign of hope from him that perhaps he has second thoughts about it? That perhaps he has come to his sense and realized you were the best thing that ever happened to him, that no one will ever be as good to him as you were, Fine. Breakups, I’ve heard, are supposed to be just that. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching.keep your hands to yourself. Next time I’m in this situation I’ll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I can. Call all my friends and burden them with my mysery. Sleep too much. Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Do whatever I have to do so eventually I can move on.Fine, have it your way, Greg. I still think my way could work.’ P104 To add to that, Greg usually puts the results of his polls, with men as the respondent. The results of this “if you don’t believe Greg” are pretty horrifying. Here is one of my favorites: “ 100% of guys polled said “a fear of intimacy” has never stopped them from getting into a relationship. One guy even remarked, “Fear of intimacy is an urban myth”. Another guy said, “That’s just what we say to girls when we’re just not that into them.” P44 -- “What you should have learned from this chapter” is put right after the poll—as if to emphasize that the readers have clearly understood all of Behrendt’s logical mantras. Here they are, some of Greg’s blatant and brutal advices: 1. An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship. (p21) 2. If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. You deserve a fucking phone call. (p34) 3. People tell you who they are all the time. When a man says he can’t be monogamous, you should believe him. (p57) 4. There is no excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There is no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating. (p68) 5. Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck) (p68) 6. Bad boys are actually bad. (p77) 7. If you have different views about marriage, what else are you not on the same page about? Time to take inventory. (p91) 8. You can’t talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one. (p106) 9. There’s no mystery—he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you. (p117) At the end of every chapter, they provide mini-work book to complete the ‘session’. They are fun! As if the book was not complete already, Tucillo puts her best into a final chapter titled “Life after He’s Just Not That Into You”. Not only work as a self-help book, this piece actually deserves more to be labeled as the self-development or, empowerment tools for girls. After all, it is a blatantly honest, but of course, useful tool for girls to be used in this boy-and-girl-games. It is either you take it, or you leave it, for your own safety during the helluva ride! Reading this book made me laugh, bitterly, at every stupidity I did during my 20s. Revived by the questions there, I have been those girls in different occasions! Had I found this book earlier, I believe this book could have saved several years of my precious youth. But then again, experience has always been proved as the best lessons in life. Anyway, my favorit part is every time “Nikki” consults her problem. Maybe Greg Behrendt should start to think to put this “Nikki” on the show. I wonder, there is no character based on this Nikki on the movie—it would be much more HILARIOUS! Nonetheless, this is the book I would like to recommend for girls--urban girls to be more specific. Ignorant for those issues to happen in rural areas, I would say this book, is actually useful, for all women. Maybe giving this book to a ‘pet’ is clearly not a clever idea that could occur in our twisted little heads, gals. Presumably—that would just make this ‘pet’ even clever to mind-trick and twist everything in our already-dark-and-cloudy heads! Ashamed to admit, I was the one who had that idea once, and, as if things were not murky and dark enough, gave it to one of the ‘pets’. What a helluva ride of a twisted mind,ey? As this book says, “ This book is dedicated to all the lovely ladies out there whose stories inspired us to write this book. May we never need to write another one” Yes, may they never, never, never need to write another one. And yes, may I never, never, never, never need to write “Frankly speaking, I am not that into him either!”. I read this book a few years ago, after dating jerk after jerk. It helped wake me up to the part I was playing in allowing myself to be treated badly by jerks. It's the slap in the face every girl needs who ever made an excuse for a lame guy in her life. The book is split into sections that decode mysterious boy behavior, gives some real life examples, and tells how you should and should NOT deal with the scenario. It's sort of like having your best guy friend read you the riot act. The movie ma I read this book a few years ago, after dating jerk after jerk. It helped wake me up to the part I was playing in allowing myself to be treated badly by jerks. It's the slap in the face every girl needs who ever made an excuse for a lame guy in her life. The book is split into sections that decode mysterious boy behavior, gives some real life examples, and tells how you should and should NOT deal with the scenario. It's sort of like having your best guy friend read you the riot act. The movie may mislead people into thinking there are main characters and story lines but there really is not. Funny, insightful, and brutally honest, Greg Behrendt's He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys is a true winner! Ever wondered what guys secretly mean by their words and actions? Greg gives a man's perspective on life, love and dating that is certainly an eye-opener for females. But the highlight of this book has to be Greg's overall message: that if he's just not that into you.then it's his loss. Because you're smart, sassy, and beautiful just the way you are Funny, insightful, and brutally honest, Greg Behrendt's He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys is a true winner! Ever wondered what guys secretly mean by their words and actions? Greg gives a man's perspective on life, love and dating that is certainly an eye-opener for females. But the highlight of this book has to be Greg's overall message: that if he's just not that into you.then it's his loss. Because you're smart, sassy, and beautiful just the way you are:) **NB: There is some mature language and themes discussed. Recommended for readers 17/18yrs+ **. I loved this book! If you only take one message away from this book let it be this: You are beautiful, you are worthy of being loved. Greg and Liz provide many examples of what love does NOT look like and while their tales are used to teach, they also entertain. I would recommend this book to every woman on this planet as its big aim is to help inflate women's self esteem, but I'd also go so far as to recommend this book to EVERYBODY because I'm a pop culture fiend and I believe there is value t I loved this book! If you only take one message away from this book let it be this: You are beautiful, you are worthy of being loved. Greg and Liz provide many examples of what love does NOT look like and while their tales are used to teach, they also entertain. I would recommend this book to every woman on this planet as its big aim is to help inflate women's self esteem, but I'd also go so far as to recommend this book to EVERYBODY because I'm a pop culture fiend and I believe there is value to be found in the things that the masses find interesting. Gregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Gr Gregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Greg Behrendt's Wake Up Call (2009).
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